I Tried It: Internal Family Systems (IFS)

When I first heard about Internal Family Systems (IFS), I had no idea what it was. A friend introduced me to a coach as a networking connection and through our conversation I found out she is a level 2 trained IFS practitioner. I was very intrigued in what she described and looking for a way to help calm the turmoil I felt inside so I booked a session with her and have been working with her ever since.

Honestly? It has been one of the most transformative things I’ve done for myself.

A Little History of IFS

IFS was developed in the 1980s by Dr. Richard Schwartz, a family therapist. He noticed that his clients often said things like, “Part of me feels this way, but another part of me doesn’t.” Instead of treating that as confusion, he became curious about those “parts.”

The central principle of IFS is simple but powerful: there are no bad parts. Even the ones that procrastinate, get nervous before meetings, or replay arguments from five years ago—they’re all trying to protect you. Often, they showed up in tough times to help you survive. The problem is, they sometimes don’t realize the danger has passed.

By meeting those parts with curiosity, you often find they can step back, calm down, and let you lead from a steadier place.

If you’re curious to dive deeper, Dr. Schwartz’s book No Bad Parts is a wonderful place to start

What It Felt Like to Try It

The session feels a little bit like meditation. We start by chatting about what is on my mind and what I want to focus on that day. As I talk, my coach notices the “parts” showing up and asks if I feel comfortable going in to meet them. For me, the answer is usually yes—but I know that if I say no, she will honour that and find a gentler way forward.

She has me close my eyes, take a few deep breaths, and notice where in my body I am feeling something connected to what we are exploring. From there, she guides me with gentle questions, and I respond with whatever comes—sometimes an image, sometimes a feeling, sometimes just a sense. The questions are often about getting to know the part: How is it feeling? Does it like the job it’s doing? If not, why does it keep doing it? What would it rather be doing? What does it want me to know? Sometimes it feels like the part is speaking directly to me; other times it is more like watching a dream play out. It might sound a little unusual, but for me the results speak for themselves.

At the end of the session, she helps me come back to the present and we talk about what has come up. Does it make sense? How do I feel about it? One time I told her, “I don’t even know what to do with that or how to keep working on it.”She smiled and said, “You’ve already done the work by witnessing that part.” And she was right—the part had softened.

Every session leaves me feeling calmer. Over time, I notice that situations which once would send me spiralling into anxiety just… don’t. I move through them almost neutrally, only realizing later how much lighter that feels.

My coach usually suggests small ways to keep connecting with my parts between sessions. I try them, though I find it hard to go as deep without her guidance. Still, the relief and self-compassion I feel after each session are undeniable. Sometimes we revisit the same part again—because there is more it wants to share.

Finding a Practitioner

IFS is growing quickly, and there’s been some recent changes in how people are trained:

• Currently, IFS trainings are only open to licensed therapists.

  
  

• In the past, there was a lottery system that allowed non-therapists (like coaches) to complete the official training. So, if you see a coach who is certified, that’s still legitimate—they may have trained before the rules shifted.

  
  

There isn’t one universal regulatory body for IFS, but the IFS Institute is the main organization overseeing training and certification. You can check their website to confirm credentials.

What to look for:

• Training through the IFS Institute (Level 1, 2, or 3 certification).

  
  

• Someone who explains their process clearly and sets healthy boundaries.

  
  

• A practitioner who emphasizes your safety and never pushes you further than you’re ready to go.

  
  

• That gut feeling of safety and trust—you’ll know if it feels like a good fit.

My Takeaway

IFS has given me compassion for the parts of myself I used to resist. Some sessions feel big and transformative; others are quieter but just as meaningful. Either way, I leave with more calm and clarity than I walked in with.

Jenn’s Picks Checklist

• Clothed: Yes

  
  

• Physical touch: No

  
  

• Best for: Calming inner turmoil, understanding yourself better, reducing anxiety

  
  

• Watch for: Credentials (IFS Institute certification), making sure you feel safe and supported

  
  

• Fun fact: The guiding principle of IFS is “no bad parts”—even the messy, anxious, or stubborn ones are just trying to help you.